1. You take a bus and are shocked that two people are carrying on a conversation in English. 2. Someone says TENDERLOIN and you don't think of steak. 3. You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it. 4. A really great parking space can move you to tears. 5. You know that anyone wearing shorts in July must be visiting from Ohio. 6. You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits. 7. Your boss runs in "The Bay to Breakers"....and it's not the first time you have seen him/her nude. 8. You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aroma therapy, conversational mandarin, or a building your own website class. 9. You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to San Francisco, and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life depended on it. 10. You were born somewhere else. 11. Left is right and right is wrong. 12. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income. 13. You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by. 14. You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it. 15. Your family tree contains "significant others." 16. Your cat has its own psychiatrist. 17. Smoking in your office is not optional. 18. You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach. 19. Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news. 20. A person enters the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice. 21. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment. 22. You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a "Free Tibet" bumper sticker--and you mean it. 23. When you drive under an underpass, for one moment you think "earthquake." 24. You realize the only Republicans you know are your aunt and uncle in Texas. 25. You realize there are far more rainbow flags in the city than California state flags. 26. You go to your office manager's baby shower and the parents are named Judy and Becky. 27. Your church elects a new bishop who abandoned his family and two young daughters to fulfill his sexual urges with another man.